Cat Tails

BOREDOM (or goofy things you do at sea)

We departed the Gulf of Nicoya for a quick little trip to Bahia de Caraquez, Ecuador. Ok… so “quick” is a word that really shouldn’t be used in conjunction with cruising boats. It’s roughly 800 miles from Puntarenas, Costa Rica to the Bahia. We had been watching the weather on this route for about two months and had never seen wind in double digits. Our plan was to sail down the 085 west longitude line until we reached latitude 2 North, at which point we would point our bow toward the Bahia located at about 35 miles south of the Equator. After two days we had made about 80 miles towards our destination, the wind was either non existent or about five knots. We carry enough fuel to motor for about 400 miles so we knew we would have to sail at least half the trip. When the boat dropped below one knot we would turn on the motor and idle along at two knots. We hoped this would extend our range. We had not seen another boat for several days and Linda was becoming bored with the flat windless ocean. So in the middle of the night when she came on watch she was quite speechless when she saw a freighter crossing our bow 300 yards in front. Well ok… not quite speechless, it might have been “why the !@** is he so close?” I quickly told her that I had talked with the Captain and everything was ok. As we bounced thru the stern wake she made a comment about being too close. I quickly retreated to bed for a few hours shut eye. We had been at sea for six days now averaging about 60 miles a day. Now we like to stay in shape when we’re underway so for the last six days we had been doing sail aerobics, this is where any chance you get you hop up and make a sail change. We have twin forestays so we can fly twin headsails for downwind work. We also have four different head sails, throw a whisker pole into the mix and you can be hopping up and down every time the wind goes up down or changes direction! Now this was our first trip to Ecuador and friends told us “make sure that you stay at least 60 miles off of Isla Malpelo because of possible problems with some very unsavory characters!” I’m not sure what that means but it reminds me of the scene in Capt. Ron where they discuss the difference between Guerillas and Gorillas, I don’t want to be standing face to face with either one. Our imagination is now starting to get the better of us and we come up with a game plan of what to do should we have an incident with an unsavory character. Linda would stay inside the boat with the flare gun and the spear gun (these are the only weapons we carry) however, when I say the “secret word” she would come out with flare gun behind her back with the mention of the second “secret word” she would discharge the flare gun… hopefully hitting someone other than me. This would of course scare the unsavory characters into leaving. Now Linda actually has a little practice at this as many years ago she was a Deputy Sheriff in WA. She very astutely said “hey, I need to be able to reload quickly in case there’s more than one”. So we strapped a couple of straps across her chest with extra flares on them (Pancho Villa) style, now she was ready for action! Fortunately, although very slowly, we passed Isla Malpelo without incident! We were now in the ITCZ and could see squalls on the horizon, finally to break the boredom we had some wind, Linda said “Rob don’t you think we should get the main down?” After six days of ghosting along I was ecstatic, we suddenly were doing seven knots! However, I quickly became aware that we were seriously over canvassed, not something you want to do on a small cat 300 miles from land. Rain was now coming down like it had come out of a shotgun. I was pulling for all I was worth to get the main down and wishing we were just bored again ghosting along... 20 minutes later the sea was flat and the motor was running.

We finally approached the Equator and as this was our first time across we thought about a lot of different ceremonies for Neptune. A friend who was in the Navy told me they made him crawl thru garbage and spanked him. I thought this sounded a little messy and a little kinky…little did I know. When we we’re in Mexico Linda bought some gold lamme fabric just for this occasion, I was supposed to wear this like a toga and pronounce our crossing a success. Now we all know Neptune likes his rum, so I had a bottle of Flor de Cana, which I happen to think is some of the world’s best. As we got close to the Equator I donned my gold lamme toga, poured myself a healthy shot of rum with a little extra for Neptune. Now I think Neptune is usually seen with a crown of seaweed on his head, so out of respect I also wore a crown of cabbage leaves held in place by my head lamp. (Hey, ya gotta be creative at sea). I yelled down for Linda as we were getting close, she needed to hurry, it would be bad luck not to give the right respect as we were both polliwogs. She stepped into the cockpit much to my surprise in black high heels, stockings, garter belt, and a bustier. She said “Neptune’s a man, I know how to get his attention!” We crossed the Equator giving Neptune his rum and the rest I will leave to your imagination.

Now we were starting to run low on fuel, we still had 300 miles to go and we hadn’t seen wind in days. I thought we would be okay until the equatorial current starting dragging us out to the west at an alarming rate. It was decision time… we had no wind, the current was running at 2-2.5 knots, we didn’t have enough fuel to motor against that current for the 300 miles we had left. So, a weekend at the Galapagos seemed like the perfect thing.

For the first time in a week we were moving towards our destination at a reasonable speed. With a two knot current pushing us even in idle we could make five knots. Two days later we anchored at the Galapagos Islands. After a good nights rest we refilled our jerry jugs plus a couple extras we purchased for the trip back to the mainland. We bumped into friends we had said goodbye to in Panama, thinking we wouldn’t see them again for a while. They were quite surprised and fed us a wonderful dinner. After three days we departed for the mainland, once again… no wind and flat seas. Again, listening to the motor for almost 600 miles. However we did discover a new game, a Boobie would land on our spreader, the first time he deposited his dinner on the deck and bimini we wanted him gone. So I unhooked the running back and would swat him on the butt with it, he would turn and try and bite the running back. It would usually take three good swats to get him off the spreader. He would then fly around the boat four or five times and land back on the spreader, where we would start the game all over again…oh, what fun!

We arrived at the Bahia where the pilot guided us over the bar. Now, Linda’s idea of surfing is on the net not through breaking waves with our boat. But hey, it really cured the boredom of a very long passage. What was supposed to be about 800 miles turned into 1400 and twice as long as we thought.

Rob & Linda

Cat’n About

Well we arrived in Mazatlan after a 30 hour passage (this was fast for us as we had planned on 36 hours). We were tired as we had only had a couple of hours sleep. So, after a good nights sleep we spent about 12 hours the next day washing the last four months worth of grime off the boat, scrubbing the rust spots on the stainless, cleaning out lockers and just general spring cleaning. By 1930 we fell exhausted onto the couch, inside of 30 minutes every muscle in our bodies hurt. The drug of choice for my generation is no longer POT its Advil!!

Linda managed to throw some dinner together by 2100 and then we rolled into bed. The next morning every muscle was screaming, so back to the Advil.

We thought we deserved a day off and told Linh & Teal that we have never done much sight seeing in Mazatlan. They had spent three months here last year and offered to be our guides!! So off we headed into Old Town for lunch, the usual comida economica (cheap lunch for four $7.40). After lunch Teal lead the march, we started at the market and headed for El Faro a couple of miles away. Now think about this, it's after lunch the sun is high in the sky so guess what? Yep, it's the hottest part of the day; it's time for the “Gringo stomp”. That's for idiots like us who don't have enough brains to go and take a siesta during this part of the day. El Faro for those not familiar with Mazatlan is the Worlds highest naturally placed light house it's approximately 500' above sea level. So, after a couple of miles of walking the streets in 88 degree heat it's up the side of a mountain, now at the bottom of the mountain there's an enterprising gentleman who sells ice cold water and pop, about to pass it up Teal tells us we should buy water. 20 minutes later our thighs are burning and we're sweating like pigs in an oven and we have almost drunk the whole liter of water. We’re now a third of the way up the mountain, funny it looked like a small hill from below. After a couple of rest stops we get to the steps, did I mention the last part is 497 steps up to the top; these are concrete steps of various sizes. When we reach the top the view is stunning it overlooks the entire city of Mazatlan.

They don't normally let people into the light house but for some reason they let Teal and I go up into the lighthouse VERY COOL. No, I mean really, they run AC in the top to keep the lens cool!!

Well, we hobbled back down the mountain, by the time we got to the bottom I was feeling like Sir Edmund Hilary (The British chap who climbed Everest). So, off we went again on the Teal tour. So, when Teal said “shall we pop up those 200 steps to see the cannon the Germans left” it was almost a unanimous “NO!” So, off we went along the Malecon for about four miles then turned back into the city to find the oldest church in Mazatlan, imagine our surprise one hour later when we came back to the same spot in the hwy realizing we had seen the church but were no closer to getting home. We continued on along the Malecon for a couple more miles when Teal said “we can take the bus from this corner”, three bodies plopped to the sidewalk and mercifully the bus came by in just a few minutes. Now this was the expensive bus, 8 pesos, fully air conditioned, by the time we got back to the marina we shuffled off like prisoners going to the gas chamber. Five minutes later we climbed on the boat, along with a stiff Vodka Tonic I shared the Advil bottle with Linda who lay on the couch not moving. I hobbled over to the stove heated some leftovers and then we drug our bodies to bed. In reflection we had hiked for about six hours, climbed a 500' mountain and visited most of Old Town on foot. One other thing... I wish we would have bought stock in Advil.

Love to all

The trekkers south of the border

Biker Babe

Well it wasn’t bad ass bikers, or even teens on trikes, just middle age madness on mopeds!

Isla Mujeres Mexico two middle age folks decide to brave the streets, after strapping the obligatory red helmets on the attendant gives me the 10 second class. The locations of stuff that really didn’t matter, ignition, brakes, lights, turn signals, you know dumb stuff until he got to the horn… muy importante..

So after strapping my biker babe on the back (unfortunately they didn’t rent chaps, I thought she would look good in chaps and her bikini) we decided to head out. Now the attendant was watching as we pulled away so I thought to give him the impression we knew what we were doing I would just floor it. Now we shoot away from the curb, causing my biker babe to lean back grabbing my head for support, I was now staring straight up into the sky and running full throttle down the road. Biker babe was doing her best to try and climb all of her butt back on the moped by pulling on my head. I was trying my best not to fall off by gripping the throttle, which was still in the wide open position and attempt to bring my head into an attitude where I could actually see where we were going. I finally managed to bring my head down and pry biker babes left hand out of my left eye socket and her right hand out of my mouth to assume the more casual biker couple position of arms around my waist. By now we had the squirrels screaming and had attained a speed of 50….. Kilometers that is, however a speed bump had snuck up on us and we hit it hard, this had the effect of launching biker babe back into the previous position hence snapping my head back once again staring at the sky. At this point we were out of sight of the rental store so stopping to rearrange seemed like a good idea.

We coasted to a stop and shut down attempting to look cool, we adjusted ourselves tightened the chin strap on the helmets and climbed back on our hog, well maybe hog is a little much, maybe Piglet would be a better term for this fine machine. Feeling like I should be sporting a Harley tattoo that says ride free or die I casually hit the start button only to scare the crap out of us as it was really the horn, thinking that couldn’t be right I hit the button again a loud pathetic beep came from the piglet. Now people were starting to stare and we were starting to look like geeks! I know it’s not cool but I removed my shades and put my cheaters on to see if the key was in the right spot, after fussing with it for five minutes thinking we were going to have to push the piglet back to the rental shop I held the front break and hit the starter vroom all 10 squirrels roared to life.. We were once again looking cool, biker babe and I were off down the highway. Cruising down island with the Caribbean as a backdrop was way cool. We started thinking that maybe we should get serious and think about getting a bigger machine to do some real biker stuff when we noticed a large black cloud heading our way. Now 50 kilometers may not seem like high speed but when you hit a rain squall it takes about 5 seconds to become totally soaked, we had gone from totally cool to really cold. However the good thing about the tropics is things dry very quickly. However biker babe looked pretty good after getting soaked and blasting along in the wind, you might say she was kinda perky!!

Well we parked the piglet and stopped for sodas at a road side café, strode in with my best James Dean swagger, thought about asking for milk in a dirty glass but thought some of it would be lost in the translation to Spanish ( my Spanish still needs work). After sipping sodas and waiting for another rain squall to pass we headed out for the south end of the island to visit the Mayan temple ruins. We were both in sync now leaning into the corners and came flying into the dirt parking lot at the ruins, trying very quickly to remember which break was the rear, I gave up and jammed them both on, we slid thru the dirt and stopped just shy of the bike rack. I flipped the key off and yanked back on piglet to set the kickstand. Biker babe pulled off her helmet and didn’t appreciate my chuckle at her flat hair ! We walked out to the rock pile that passed for the ruins, purchased an ice cream, waited again for one more rain shower and fired up the piglet. By now we had a handle on looking cool pulling away and even kicked up some dirt and gravel. I really do think were ready for the hog, we cruised the east side of the island blowing past golf carts like they were doing 15 kph (ok so they were) riding with the wind on you face was cool until a bug hit one of my teeth. I’m here to tell you fly guts don’t taste good. We stopped once again after reaching the north end beaches parking the piglet right on the sand took a few pics, I convinced biker babe that all babes on bikes had to expose themselves for a picture if they were real biker babes. Being a good sport she flashed me the goods and giggled until she heard the guy just out of her vision say something. A hasty retreat was made from the sand, Ok well maybe it wasn’t quite that hasty as piglet didn’t want to really go thru the sand and I had to drag it back to the pavement. We completed our circumnavigation of Isla Mujeres 10 mins later and returned our piglet to the rental agency.. When we get home I think we’re going to check out the local Harley dealer… Maybe buy biker babe a pair of chaps, you know so she can break em in before we spend all that money on a hog……….

Remember always wear a helmet as riding piglets could be dangerous to your health ….on the other hand it was a hell of a lot of fun..

Rob & Linda AKA Biker babe S/V Cat’n About